Alien fun at the SSA

If you ever plan to work or live in the US, be prepare at some point to spend quality time at the Social Security Administration Office (SSA).

Having come from the land downunder, I am familiar with the concept of "take a number and wait your turn" when it comes to applying for things.

What I haven't come across too often, are people who you'd assume know what they are doing at those places are in fact more clueless than you. The unfortunately fact is: you are at the mercy of these people and there isn't a thing you can do about it but play nice, beg and pray that somehow, your luck will help you get through the experience.

For those who don't know, the social security number (SSN) is one number you cannot live without in the US (if you are playing tourist you are safe from the pain of the SSA); Everything depends on it - starting a job, getting paid, getting taxed, being able to open a bank account, etc.

Now for my adventure/journey/saga at the SSA.

I went to a local SSA office on a weekday morning and sure enough, there was a line of many waiting to see an officer who inspected and determined if you were worthy of a ticketed number (by way of sufficient supporting documentation for the type of application). This same system applied to anything like changing the name on the SSN card, to applying for food stamps.

I had instructions from my work's legals that all I needed was my passport, with my work visa and my entry card into the US and everything should be honky-dorey.

30 minutes or so in the line, it was my turn. The expressionless officer looked at my passport and grabbed my application form (Seriously, I wonder if most government workers attend boot-camps for the uniform expressions or if the job itself eventually would get to even the most cheerful people). She looked a bit perplexed when she saw my work visa.

"E3?" she pondered and started scanning up and down the 3"x5" visa page of my passport. I knew I was in trouble.

She turned to the higher power(ie. her computer terminal) for some enlightenment. After a bit of a read, she informed me authoratively that I needed a work authroization card before I could apply. Huh say what?

"We can't process your application without a work authorization card."
"What is that? Isn't the I-94 the only thing that's required?"

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, while the downward frown on her face remained unchanged.

"You need the 766 form approved from Immigration to support your SSN application. So go see immigration first."

She slide through a piece of paper with the address and number of an immigration office in Manhattan through the glass partition and practically sent me off with a "Next!".

Oh yes I forgot to mention, there is a big desk-to-ceiling glass partition for each booth in the SSA office and everything came through a mic at the SSA offiicers' desks. More about that later.

So I went home and called up HR and got referred to Legals. I was told I already had all required documents with me. The Work Authorization form was required for the E2 visa, not the E3. Legals sent me a document on federal regulations on the E3 so I can wave it in the face of the SSA officer should she try to tell me otherwise again.

My 2nd attempt the next day went a little smoother. It was a different lady and she looked at my passport, my visa and my application form and gave me a ticketed number straight up. This was the same SSA office btw, I guess I was more lucky this time.

Oh but this wouldn't be a saga if my story had finished here!

So it was another 50 minutes or so before I got called. I went to another window, the lady just stared at me and motioned me to "hand them over". So I slid through my passport and application form.

She took a look, proceeded to her computer, typed for a bit and then informed me through the thick glass partition,

"We can't process your application without a work authorization card. You don't have a work authorization form here."

Either there was some technical difficulties or she didn't turn her mic on - I could barely hear her through the partition. The mic in the next booth was obviously working fine because I could hear the reply to a man's appeal next to me loud and clear.

Armed with my confirmed knowledge that this was NOT the case, I replied that I have previously spoken to immigration and that I was told I only needed the I-94 (spoken like a pro, yes). She started to dispute my claims and then stopped midway to ask me,

"No you need... Oh wait, are you the principal?"
"Yes, I am the principal, its my work visa."
"Oh never mind then."

Luckily I decided to read up on all that regulations the night before and knew what she was talking about. She then asked about my middle name, whether there was a space in between, or a hyphen etc. After all that, she printed out this form and asked that I sign my full names clearly legible.

"So not my normal signature, and I just have to sign all my names?"
"Yes, sign your name, just like how it is printed here, so it is all readable"

Not sure what the point of that was, since it would not match signatures on anything else, but ok. Except it was incorrectly spelt.

"Excuse me, but I think there is an extra 'K' here in my name, it is not the right spelling."
"Oh."

So she went back to fix it up, printed the form out again, got me to check and sign it. Then, she started typing some more. Half way through she paused. And paused. Not a good sign.

"We cannot process your application."

OH really?

"When did you come into the country?"
"Last week."
"Your entry status hasn't been updated by immigration yet, so I cannot verify your visa entry status. We need to be able to do that before we can start processing your SSN application. It will take about 10 days for the system to get updated."
"Does it mean I can call back in 2 weeks to find out if my application is being processed?"
"No. We are going to try to verify the status of your visa in 10 days."
"Is there a number I can call back on to find out the progress on my application?"
"If you really want, you can try the toll-free number, but that's complicated because you will have to explain everything over the phone."
"So what do you recommend? How do I find out if my request is being processed?"
"The best is for you to come back in person with all your documents and enquire about it with your receipt of the application, just in case we need to check your documents again."

I am really looking forward to coming back to the SSA in a few weeks' time. We aliens have so much more fun than mormal US citizens.

And what I learned out of all this?

I can now understand why a great big glass partition is required at each SSA booth. It must be dangerous to work at the SSA - I am sure there had been many violent incidents initiated by normally civilised people driven insane from their dealings with the SSA.